Sunday, April 28, 2013

He's Gone

After visiting with my step-father and giving my mom a much needed hand, I drove home last Sunday.  I wasn’t sure if I would see my step-father again or not.  He was very weak, but I had seen this from him two other times over the last six years or so.  Neither time was related to his lung cancer. 

The first time he had Guillain-Barre Syndrome.  Ever heard of it?  I hadn’t, but now it sticks out like a sore thumb each year when I sign the release form for my flu shot, as there is a potential risk of developing it.  I’m not sure how he caught it (he didn't have the flu shot), but basically he was paralyzed from neck to toe for a while.  Even his lungs were affected and he had to be put on a respirator to breathe.  He overcame it, but from then on had to be hooked up to oxygen and had some permanent nerve damage in his legs and feet.  

A few years ago, and I am not sure how this all came about, but his bowels were not working.  He was in the hospital for several months with his intestines on the outside of his body (sorry).  There were several times during that hospital stay that we thought he wouldn’t make it to live another day.  But he always did.  He was a tough man with a strong will to live (probably the Marine in him).

Lung cancer finally took his life.  I’m glad that I was able to visit him one last time (mom lives 350 miles away).  I’ve known him for about twenty years and he was married to mom for almost sixteen.  He was an alcoholic and many thought him to be a grumpy old man.  Personally, I think he was just honest and if he didn’t care for you much, he let you know by how he treated you.  He always liked my husband and me and was always kind to us.  

Mom will miss him, but I think she is glad to have it over.  I don’t mean that harshly, but the last few years have taken a toll on her health as she put off taking care of some things because she needed to be around to take care of him.  Even though he had tons and tons of friends, there won’t be a service.  Instead he wanted a gathering at a local bar with him footing the bill one last time.  May he rest in peace.

This weekend hasn’t been the best food wise, but I did do some cooking.  Also, I have the house stocked up and some meals and vegetables prepped for the week.  I plan to start following the Whole30 approach, maybe easing into it the next couple of days.  I was more active this weekend than I have been in the recent past, although today has been mostly restful.  It’s definitely a move in the right direction, now I need to keep stepping it up.

How was your weekend?  Was it mostly active or restful?  What healthy plans do you have for this week?


  1. My sympathy's go out to you and your mother. My own father died when I was 20 years old. The doctors thought he would die when I was 13 years old. He held on for seven more painful years. He didn't have Guillian-Barre syndrome, but a similar wasting away disease that took his body and his mind.

  2. I'm very sorry for your loss and for your mom. I can only imagine how hard these past years have been on all of you. Take care of yourself.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I like his idea of a gathering at the bar instead of a traditional service.

  4. I'm sorry to hear that, but it does sound like he is in a better place now and hopefully your mom can find some time now to care for herself. Hope you have a better week and can find some "you" time too :)

  5. So sorry for your loss, but I know how that goes. My Dad died at home and while he was only sick and bedridden the last six months, it took a toll on my Mom - her office back then was super accommodating though, which helped.

    And FYI, that's exactly what my husband wants when he dies - a party at a bar. He's already told me that I can't die before him because he can't live without me. :D

    And my desk cleaning starts tonight! I hope to finish it by the weekend - thanks for the push Roxy! Yep, that's what I am going to call you. :D

  6. Thank you all for the warm comments.

  7. So sorry for your family's loss. Hope you have a better week!

  8. I'm sorry for your loss...and I totally understand the toll all of his illnesses took on your mom. Caregiving for someone you love is all-consuming. May she find peace in his passing.

  9. So sorry for everything you & your family are going through.

    I'm proud of you for cooking!! As you noted on your previous post, that is something you don't normally do due to laziness! So yay!! :) The Whole30 is a great way to clean up your diet. I literally still have to take one day at a time with it. I've been eating this way for a long time now, so if you have any questions, please ask! I'd be more than happy to help/support you.

  10. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is never easy but knowing that he is no longer suffering always brings some comfort.
    Your comment about Guillain-Barre Syndrome really brings back memories. When the cancer spread in my grandmother (when I was 15), they diagnosed her with Guillain-Barre, but really it was just the cancer. She woke up one day after having been in remission and couldn't get out of bed. They diagnosed GB, but it was the cancer moving into her spine. We lost her six months later.
    Glad to find you and glad you commented on my page yesterday.

  11. So sorry to hear about your step father. I'm thinking of you and your family.

    My sister just finished her first 30 of the whole 30 and it's done wonders for her. Best of luck!!

  12. I am so sorry about your step father
    Caring for someone does take a toll. My prayers are with you and your family

  13. I'm sorry for your loss!

    After my father died my Mom started having all kinds of diseases too. She took care of my Dad and put herself aside.

    I'm glad for you that you were able to visit him.

  14. I always feel I have to deflate after a trip. Between travel bloat from flying or sitting in a car excessive hours that is a few pounds. I bloat from wheat and do not normally eat it except when I travel - and it sticks to my body like glue when I do, along with water weight. Good luck deflating this week.

  15. Sending you belated condolences.