Not off to a good start

October is just about half way through.  How is time flying by so quickly?  Holy cow!  Unfortunately, I am not off to a good start for this month.  The bad news is that I have gained a couple of pounds and am now only three pounds away from my highest weight ever.  The good news is… well there isn’t any good news…yet.  I have been eating and feeling like crap.  I feel heavy and my back and knees hurt. I’m not one to get depressed, but have been feeling down.  The feelings are mostly around not losing weight sooner and not taking care of my diabetes sooner.  I have a lot of regrets due to my weight and most of the time I am fine letting them go and moving forward.  However, the longer I keep the weight on the more I am losing out of life.  I’m not having a pity party here, just mentioning how I am doing.  I know my weight represents the choices I have and continue to make.  I am the only one that can change things here, and one of these days I will. 

Speaking of Diabetes, I had blood work done on Friday and received the results via automatic email.  My A1C was 9.8.  That is the highest it has ever been and does not surprise me at all.  My doctor would prefer this number to be <7 and is sure to contact me soon to start insulin.  I have fought her on this for too long and will stop resisting.  I always thought I would control my blood sugar levels by diet, but that never happened.  I take a bunch of oral medications and now insulin is probably my only option left.  Gosh, I have been stupid. 

This post may sound negative and I didn’t really intend for that or for it too sound whiny.  I have been absent and the above kind of speaks to my mood and why I might not have had anything to post about.  My husband and I are determined to have a better week and will hopefully turn things around.  We have a menu plan for the week and have prepped some of the food.  If I actually eat the food we have instead of eating out it will be a successful week.

Source: somefun.net

How is October working out for you?  Here’s to turning things around and finishing the month off strong! 

It's October already

Turning the page on the calendar and realizing that three quarters of the year have come and gone without my weight decreasing but a few pounds is depressing but nothing new.  It’s the same story, but different year.  Last month marked my fifteenth wedding anniversary and also the fifteenth year that I have weighed over 300 lbs.  The last few years, I have weighed closer to but never reaching 400 lbs.  This is not an accomplishment to be proud of; I’m just stating a fact.  Actually as far as weight and health are concerned, there is nothing to be proud of.  With diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, time is not on my side.  Fifteen years over 300 lbs and at least twenty years over 200 lbs is way too long and not doing me any favors.  We all know this already. 

It is way past time to get things rolling.  Never giving up, I will keep on trying.  Will this month prove to be a success or just more of the same?  Only time will tell for sure.  I don’t feel like spewing out all the hopes and promises that I will get on the ball.  I’m thinking it; just don’t want to blurt it out yet again.  One day, one meal at a time I will try to make the right choices.

Since it is now October, my daily goal for walking steps will be increased to 3000.  This will be a struggle.  I didn’t meet by 2500 steps/day goal for most days last week.  I will make more of an effort this week/month.  

That's all I've got today.  Have a great week and start to October.