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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Not there yet, but getting closer


So far my week has not been the great recovery week that I had hoped for, but  I am closer to being on track.  Even with some food choice struggles as I fight myself to do the right thing and not always doing the right thing, I'm okay with that.  I'm not stuffing my face and making wrong decision after wrong decision as I had done this past weekend.  Still, I can do better.  I need to do better. 

When I think about my actions this last weekend, I am disappointed with myself.  I reacted badly to seeing an unexpected weight gain.  Most of my reaction was based on fear and instead of doing what would help the situation, I did the opposite.  I know all this and I want to stop this behavior but I still worry whether I can or if I will.  That being said, I don't want to dwell on it.  I won't ignore it and I'll still be aware of it, but I want to move forward.  Like many of you have pointed out, there will be bumps along the journey.  This was a bump that I made bigger than it needed to be. 

My plan is to keep trying each day to get back to a place I was a couple of weeks ago.  I need to eat most meals at home, stop snacking or at least stop having sugary snacks, drink more water and move this big body more.  Tonight will be the first time that I have cooked a meal since my husband returned home from his trip.  He returned on August 9th, so that means that I reverted back to my old ways.  Meaning, I haven't been cooking and either he cooks or we dine out.  For change to happen, I need to make it happen.  It will be a simple meal of roasted butternut squash, spinach and salmon, but I know my husband will appreciate it.  The challenge will be cooking another meal soon.  I've got to do it though.  I need to share responsibility.  The more help I can be, then the less we will eat out.  That's what we need the most right now.  Healthier meals cooked at home will provide us with more energy, a better feeling about ourselves and probably much more.

It feels like this post is a jumbled mess.  Sorry, writing is not my strongest skill.  The point to all this is that I'm not quite back on track, but I'm almost there.  I'm moving forward.  Before I go, I just want to thank you all for stopping by and for all the wonderful encouragement you have given me.  For all of you that have traveled here from the help of Biz, thank you so much for your kind words and pieces of wisdom gained from your own experiences.  I love this blogging community and send you all great big hugs!

23 comments:

  1. "Healthier meals cooked at home will provide us with more energy, a better feeling about ourselves and probably much more."

    Couldn't agree more ....onwards and upwards ....and positive thoughts too.

    All the best Jan

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    1. If eating healthier and less food makes me feel so much better, I wonder why I cannot stay consistent. I'll keep trying and hoping I can get to that place someday. Thanks Jan.

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  2. Every good decision makes the next one easier- just keep trying and NEVER give up on yourself!

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    1. I'll never give up Jeanette. You are such a great example of what healthy and happy looks likes and I know a lot of that is because of the healthy food that you feed your body. I want to be there someday too. I will be there someday!

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  3. I think you're a wonderful writer. When you're writing from the heart, there is no "good or bad" or "right or wrong," it simply is, pure.
    LTR-- The quickest way to move forward is to practice self-compassion. I read that in this post. When we mentally berate ourselves it doesn't help, it only hurts. Wise words from those telling you about the bumps in the road, they're throughout this journey. These bumps actually have less of an actual impact than the attitudes and reactions we give them. Attitude and perspective is everything. You're aware of what's happening--and this raised awareness is a critically important tool for you. We're human, my friend. The habits and behaviors--the natural and often deeply ingrained reactions in situations like the ones you've described, are very difficult to change--but they can and do change with our continued awareness and our refusal to give up. Be kind to you, okay? My best to you always

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    1. Thank you Sean, and I hear the message you are sending. I will work on the self-compassion as I do understand its importance. Thanks for being such a great inspiration and for all the encouragement you have given me.

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  4. Keep on trucking you can do it!

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  5. it really is one day at time! I have faith you can do it :)

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    1. It seriously is one day at a time. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and worry about how long it may take me to lose this weight, but I know that doesn't do any good. The best I can do, is keep working on making the right choices today. Thanks Joy!

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  6. First I love reading your posts, like Sean said it is from the heart.
    Second we are all right there with ya, moving forward grinding down those bumps.
    Third, just wanting to say I am proud of you.
    Many hugs

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    1. Thank you Anna Marie, it helps. I like how you said that "grinding down those bumps", that is exactly what I need to do when I stumble upon them. There will be many chances for this along the way, I am sure of that.

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  7. I wanted to let you know that you inspired me last night! I worked late, really wanted a pizza, mad that I didn't get any workouts in, and then I thought "that's what I always do - and I wonder why my weight never changes!" I thought if you can stop in your tracks, realize that what have been doing isn't helping the big picture, than I can too. I had a small plate of cheese, a few crackers and some grapes and I was fine. Thanks sweetie! Happy Friday!

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    1. Seriously? I inspired you? Thanks Biz, you know I feel the same way about you all the time! You'll get your workout today I know. Have a great weekend!

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  8. {{{{{{hugs LTR}}}}}} "...but I'm almost there". I understand what you're saying, but I think you're already "there", in the fact that you're aware of how you're feeling. Sean's right. It's about compassion, not beating ourselves up. You're a great writer because you write your experiences about YOUR journey.

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  9. First off, you are a WONDERFUL writer. I happened upon your blog via another one, and I love it. Now,for the issue at hand...you are very self aware. That's very important. Next is you have got to take over the cooking. Period. End of story. There is no way you can squash this leaving the food choices in someone else's control. If you can cook 4 out of 7 days you're doing really good. Leave some for leftovers for lunches for work, etc. If you lived in Houston, I would come and cook for you. Once you can handle the kitchen, then trust yourself to eat out some. It's too tempting to go to Olive Garden, so maybe save that for another time. Try sushi instead. Or Chipotle. Save half the bowl for later. Eat slow, enjoy your food, savor the spices. All these little things will slow you down and you will get fuller faster. Don't feel like you're wasting if you don't finish. I promise, it will be there later. I had a huge issue with this. I deployed to Iraq for 8 months and thought if I don't eat it all now, it's going to be taken from me, or I'm going to deploy and eat MRE's or something crazy.
    I just started the water challenge in Aug. 1 gallon per day. I've made it almost every single day. First day was a challenge. But I'm telling you, it will drop weight off you quick. It will fill you up as well, curb your appetite, etc. I put lemon, cucumber, and strawberry in mine. I have a half gallon container with lid/straw. That sucker is your new BFF.
    I hope this helps some. No, this isn't the last of crummy weeks/weekends. It's called life, and it's going to happen whether we are fat or not.
    I care about you and please email me anytime okay?

    Heather
    heatherkirk352yahoo.com

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  10. Cooking can be hard especially when we are tired. I use to eat out far more than I do now. Another perk of eating at home... It's cheaper!! Keep up the good work. No one changes over night. Start slow and build from there. You can do it! Ps... Thanks for your comment on my blog!

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  11. NO it's not a jumbled mess, it's from the heart and very easy to relate to!!!

    You are on the right track!! You are right, you DO know what you SHOULD do...but it's tough to actually do it!!

    Ya know how you were upset about the weight gain? Did you feel your pants tightening before you saw it on the scale?

    Sometimes I do best when I put the scale in a hard to reach place, and just rely on how I feel and how my clothes feel. When I feel a tightening, I DON'T look at the scale (depression hellooo) but just use it as a GENTLE reminder that to review my habtis and see what can be cleaned up.

    The hardest part to losing weight is the emotional part. We have hopes and expectations and when they are not being met, it can wreak havoc on us.

    Stay strong!!! We're all rooting for ya!

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  12. You used the key phrase in all this. "moving forward". You didn't fail, you just didn't succeed for a few days. Why? You are moving forward.

    I challenge you. Commit to 3 days of doing what you know you need to be doing. Eating better, and no matter what, getting exercise. When you do that 3 days, commit to the next 3 days. I promise you after 6 days of eating better, and pushing through trying to avoid activity, you will feel accomplished!

    Also, if you get to feeling like you want to jump off track, I invite you to email me, and I will be glad to give you whatever encouragement you need! My email is jsg14342@cox.net. During the morning is sketchy on me checking email, but I promise that at some point during the afternoon, I will respond.

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  13. I hope you are feeling better about things now. I know it's been a few days. Something else to focus on; how do you feel, physically, after you eat healthy all day, compared junk. For me, once I started paying attention I was amazed at the differences. It helps keep things in perspective that you're not just doing this for smaller clothing, but for feeling better inside and out.

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  14. it helps me if i write down mini goals for the week ahead. for example this week i want to only have protein supplements once a day and get my protein for the rest of the day from chicken,tuna, and steak. i also plan to get to bed earlier each night! i look forward to watching your journey!

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  15. Hope you have some goals set for September - if you want to vent/talk/chat off line you can always email me! mybizzykitchen@gmail.com

    Hugs!

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  16. Are you still out there? I miss your posts :)

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