Monday, March 16, 2015

When will I be ready to change?

It has been over two months since I last checked in here, and I apologize for being a lousy blogger.  A big hug and thank you to all those that reached out to let me know you care and are concerned.  With my weight hovering around the same spot for so long and then actually seeing the 400's on the scale at the end of February I didn't feel inspired to share anything.  While nothing has changed with the weight,  I do feel a bit motivated and ready to hunker down for a more serious attempt than I have shown in some time.

The Nurse Practitioner that manages my diabetes care suggested that I see a psychologist to maybe find out why I am not making the changes that are necessary to improve my health.  It had been suggested a couple of times before  but I thought it would be a waste of time.  Well, I went for a one hour session last week and spilled the beans about my entire life or as much as I could fit it.  After which she spoke some about making small sustainable steps and suggested a book to read.  She told me that she wasn't sure she could help me, but would like to try.  I walked away thinking that I hadn't learned anything new. Everything she told me about making changes, I already knew.  I know what to do, but just don't do it.  She called me later and told me that she reviewed the notes of our session as well as the notes from my Nurse Practitioner and told me that she thinks differently than she did at the end of the session.  She said that she believes I am still in the 'contemplating' stage of change.  That I am thinking about it but not quite ready to change.  Not sure what I think about that. I may go back for one more session and see if it helps any and whether I think future sessions would be of benefit.  Right now, I am doubtful but willing to try. 

My sister and I went to lunch on Saturday and spent some quality alone time.  We haven't done that but one or two times since my nephew was born almost six years ago.  She comes over twice a week for 'buddy' night so I still see her often but my husband makes it a trio.  We had a great time.  She is a lot like me including the weight problem.  Her son keeps her more active than I am so she is in somewhat better shape than me.  If she doesn't make some changes soon though, Diabetes is in her future.  Hopefully we can both start making changes and seeing some success.

This week I am going to concentrate on eating at home.  Same story/plan as always, but I will try.  My husband has started having some meals delivered for the middle of the week when he doesn't feel like cooking.  I've been down that road several times and it may work for awhile but then I quickly tire of them.  He is on his own this time, which means I am to fend for myself.  The first two weeks haven't went well, but I am optimistic that I will actually cook this week.  Eating at home and drinking more water will be my focus this week.

Thank you for stopping by. 



  1. I applaud you for cooking at home. It doesn't have to be complicated and once you get used to home cooked foods, I find it quite delicious.

    Glad you talked to the shrink. When will you be ready? Good question. I knew I needed to do it, so I got to a point of no return, then never looked or went back. But I had to arrive there on my own and had to have that internal starting point. Onward.

  2. Maybe you could keep eating out, but pick healthier options. Is there anyplace that makes fresh salads near you? Chipotle? Chili's has a Margarita Chicken dish that I love (black beans, brown rice, grilled chicken, pico de gallo). Since you have trouble stopping eating out, I would suggest that you keep eating out but make it work for you. Panera has healthy options as well. Subway. No it might not be as healthy as making it yourself from scratch at home, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Brick by brick. :)

  3. You have no idea how happy you have made my day by seeing you write here. It is interesting that you are in the "contemplative" mode of change but not the action part of change. I know it's scary. It seems overwhelming - at my highest I was 211 pounds and wondered who the hell moved the seat of my car because my stomach touched the steering wheel, only realizing I was the only one who drove my car!

    I am going to email you on the side to chat - hugs!!

  4. Hi Tammy, It's incredibly difficult to change because we are food addicts. I go to TOPS every Tuesday because I *know* I'm a food addict and *need* the group support. (Overeater's Anonymous is also a great choice.)

    There is never a day when you will be ready. If you are like most of us, the change starts with many tears of frustration and not feeling ready. It's incredibly hard to quit eating those addicting foods. There were withdrawal symptoms that feel shaky, cranky and overall terrible for a few weeks, in my case. So if you feel like its that hard, well, it is! But if you go to a weekly group, you can get support from friends who have the very same issues. It's really nice to be able to describe an incredibly frustrating event that made me want to eat the whole pantry down to my TOPS friends. I have a place to vent and to learn other perspectives too.

    Since what you've tried in the past hasn't worked, you should try something entirely new-- with new hope that it can work.

    I always wish the best for you. :-)

  5. I agree with Marion in that if what you've tried before hasn't worked, it's time to try something new. Support, like what she's talking about, may be the key for you. A group environment that really reinforces everything you want to accomplish.

  6. I like 'the willing to try' ..... that is always good to hear.

    I think Marion has given you some great ideas / options that could well help you too.

    Take Care and ......

    All the best Jan

  7. I just worry, because so many of us have to reach a form of rock bottom, before we make the move. But at your current weight and health level, I worry how serious that 'rock bottom' might be. I don't mean to frighten you, and yet, maybe you need that? I don't know. I just want something seriously wrong to happen, and you never get the chance to turn things around. :( Good luck.

  8. It's my Friday check in! Just had to see if you made any salmon this week before having to throw it away. Remember, I am only an email away to vent!

  9. Knock, knock - today is my Friday so I am checking in a day early. Do you have any Easter plans? I am hosting, so I am happy to be in control of the food I serve, since I will still be in my 21 day detox (I haven't told anyone yet, but I stepped on the scale today and it said 169.6 - I've lost 5.8 pounds and I am only on Day 11 - woop!) Sending good vibes your way Tammy!

  10. I'm so glad to hear from you! I wish the visit with the psychologist had helped more... You might try another one? I found it really, really helpful. Sometimes, the contemplation stage does take a while. However, it might be fear of trying because you're afraid you will fail. Failing can be a temporary setback, but it doesn't have to be the end of the journey. Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel like making some changes! I'm behind you all the way!

  11. It's time for my weekly check in with you Tammy! Hope you had a good week. Let me know if you cooked that piece of salmon! :D Hugs and Happy Friday!

  12. Tammy,
    I recently came across your blog while looking for my inspiration for my own weight loss journey. I've got almost 200 pounds to lose and while I know it seems like a daunting feat, I know I can do it. And you can too! I'm going to keep checking in and hope to hear from you soon. Feel free to check in on my journey at Let's help each other! My best to you, Colleen

  13. Yep - here I am again Tammy - wishing you a wonderful weekend - reach out to me to talk if you feel up to it!