Sunday, July 5, 2015

Short check in and a weigh-in after a holiday

My chosen weigh-in day is Sunday for two reasons: 1) it's the start of a new week and 2) to dissuade me from having a food fest blowout all weekend.  Because the 4th of July is on a Saturday this year, I thought about weighing in Saturday morning rather than Sunday.  It wasn't because I wanted to eat tons and tons, but I knew that we would be having baked potato salad and burgers.  I was worried the food and increased sodium would cause me a gain.  I'm not going to lie, it took me a while to make the decision.  I really wanted to have a nice time on the 4th without worrying about food.  In the end, I decided not to step on the scale Saturday.  I felt like I would be cheating myself if I weighed in early so I didn't.  Still, I thought about weighing  to see what the number was so I would know just how careful I should be, but I didn't do that either.  Instead, I went on with my day, enjoyed myself , tried to be careful, but still exceeded my daily calorie limit by over 500 calories (brownies are my weakness).  It wasn't a blowout and the scale reported a three pound loss for the week.  I was surprised to have a nice loss for two weeks in a row, but I won't be complaining anytime soon either.  This morning I weighed 380 and am now looking forward to being in the 370's soon.

This has been a relaxing three day weekend and I enjoyed myself immensely.  I'm feeling tired and will close for now.  How was your weekend?  Did you overeat or stay the course?

Thanks for stopping by,

Monday, June 29, 2015

It moved!

After seeing the same weight on the scale for four Sundays in a row, it was nice to see a different number finally.   Yesterday,  the scale finally moved and in the right direction at that.  I lost four pounds.  It's good to know that I am like a turtle rather than a rock.

The number of maximum calories I should consume daily for weight loss remains a mystery.  My metabolism is slow due to many reasons (thyroid, diabetes, sedentary lifestyle, etc.).  For the last couple of months I have been aiming for a max 1800 calories per day.  I may try to lower that this week.  Still being close to 400 lbs, I can't imagine eating as few as 1200-1400 calories.  Who knows, maybe it will come to that.  I know from experience  that more calories is not the answer for me.

If I were creating a balance sheet of my actions lately, here are some of the positives and negatives it would contain.

  • I have been tracking via MyFitnessPal every bite for the last 38 days
  • I have been eating far less take-out food
  • I have been increasing my average steps/day

  • I have not been meal planning as often as I would like
  • I am still having sugary snacks in the evening
  • My intake of vegetables has decreased the last two weeks

With the increase in movement, eating more at home and less food consumed overall I am starting to feel as if I have more energy and some aches and pains are decreasing.  Don't get me wrong, at 383 pounds I am still pretty much a sore slug, but I'm doing better.  Yesterday, I went to the movie theater.  It had been about two years or more since the last time I went.  With the extra energy, I felt I could do the steps and wanted to work on my fear of being in public.  I'm a work in progress and look forward to feeling even better and doing more stuff as I continue to move and lose.

In case you don't live in the Pacific Northwest or track the weather, we are having some pretty darn nice days for June.  Normally, summer doesn't start in Seattle until July 5th.  This year, June has been unusually dry and warm compared to the last 19 years I've lived here.  While my husband, sister and brother-in-law might complain it is too warm for them, all I can say is "Sweeeeeet"!   Three to five years ago, my body changed somehow (thyroid??) and I seem to always be cold.  At close to four hundred pounds, you might think I sweat all the time.  I used to.  My husband, sister and brother-in-law do.  I don't .  For my husband's comfort, we have the air conditioner set at 69 degrees.  This means you will find him in shorts while I am in sweats , two shirts and under a heavy blanket and still shivering.  With the temps and dry weather, I can now step outside for a few minutes to warm up every now and then.  I'm sure it won't last forever, but I am enjoying!!

Tonight, my husband is trying a new recipe for grilled fajitas.  I'm looking forward to trying them and sitting outside while he grills.  That's all I have for now.  I think I will head outside to enjoy the weather and start doing some meal planning for the week.  I especially need to start thinking about the three day weekend and make plans so that we don't overeat.  What are your plans?  Quiet time at home, camping or a barbecue with family or friends? 

Thanks for stopping by,

Monday, June 8, 2015

No gain or loss

Stepping on the scale yesterday, I wasn't sure what I would see.  I knew with family arriving in town on Thursday, that the weekend would have it's share of eating challenges.  As I mentioned in my last post, I was allowing myself to go over my calories but planned to eat in moderation rather than a free-for-all.  I think I ate about as I expected.  I was proud that I turned down two dining out situations.  I had plenty of other opportunities to visit and spend good quality time with my family.  The result is that I neither gained or lost any weight last week.  Well, I lost a couple of ounces.  This go around, I am rounding up to the nearest pound, so a big zero.  I am fine with that and happy it wasn't a gain.  Not that I think I ate enough to warrant a gain, I didn't. 

Some things I wish I would have done better last week include:
  • Stick to the plan
  • Drink more water
  • Eat more vegetables

Each night I plan out the next day's meals, but last week I found myself not always sticking to the plan.  I would make substitutions and as a result I was eating less vegetables.  This week I plan to  make a plan and stick to it.  Also, I wasn't drinking enough water especially for all the sodium I was consuming and the time spent outdoors in the heat. 

Speaking of the heat, I don't normally spend that much time outside and I have a fair complexion.  Oh, I bet you already know where I am going with this.  Yes, I got sunburned.  Since I was mostly covered up, only the lower three inches of my arms, face and head were burnt.  This happened at my nephew's party last year too.  Let me tell  you what, I have learned my lesson.  My scalp hurts too darn much to let this happen a third year in a row.  From now on, I will wear a hat, use an umbrella or take some other precaution. 

Last week was a busy week and not our normal.  From all the work cleaning and preparing the house, hosting a couple of game nights, the barbecue and other family get-togethers kept me on my feet more than usual.  It was nice to rest some today.  I enjoyed having the family in town and spending time with all of them, but getting back on schedule and focusing my energy on getting healthy will be nice too.

Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, June 1, 2015

Last week was a good week

The ending of my post from last Monday included these statements:
  • Each night this week, I will plan the next days meals. 
  • I will track every bite via MFP. 
  • I will start some exercise, no matter how little it may be. 
  • This will be a good week.

I am happy and proud to report that all of these goals were accomplished.  Planning and tracking takes time.  Since I am not in the habit of planning meals, it probably took more time than needed.  I'm hoping that after I continue this for a few weeks and have more ideas of what I want to eat, the planning part will take less time.  Last week I only ate two meals not prepared at home and both were from McDonald's.  This is a huge improvement over my normal previous eating habits.  The amount of exercise last week was minimal, but compared to previous weeks and months where I had no intentional exercise, I consider this goal met as well. 

The result of planning and tracking my meals, eating at home and exercising was reflected by my weigh-in yesterday.  I lost four pounds last week!  My weight is now at 387 pounds.  The more distance I can add from the 400 pound mark, the better.  It feels good to finally be moving in the right direction.  I will confess that I am worried about whether I can keep it up.  This is something I will be talking about with my diet coach.  I've already filled him in on some of my history so that he can be aware of my habits and behaviors.

This week will be challenging.  Well, mostly Friday and the weekend will present the challenging part.  My nephew is turning six on Monday and family will be coming to town to celebrate.  My mother and favorite aunt arrive Thursday night and my father and step-mom will  arrive Friday.  There will be a barbecue and cake on Saturday, at least one or two meals out, and game night snacks.  Eating out will be the most difficult part for me to control.  My goal for the weekend will be moderation.  I am not going to stress out over food.  If I am over my calories one or two days, I will live with it.  I still plan to be cautious so I don't plan on any crazy over indulging.  I will enjoy my time with family and concentrate less on the food.  The days leading up to the weekend, I will stay on track and do all of the things that helped me last week (planning, tracking, exercise).

Thanks for stopping by,

Monday, May 25, 2015

Last week's good and bad

Sunday's are my weigh-in days and yesterday I stepped on to see a one pound loss for the week.  Not great, but not bad either.  This brings my total for the year to nine pounds gone.  Going forward I plan to kick it into gear.  With my metabolism working so slowly, I know that I am in for some frustrating weigh-ins ahead.  Even still, I will keep fighting.  Hmm, I think I am counting my chickens before they hatch.  I don't need to worry about future weigh-ins, I need to concentrate on what I am doing today.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

Last week didn't go as well as I had planned.  At the same time, it wasn't all bad.  Here is how I would break it down:

The Bad:
  • Most days I did not have a plan
  • I ate Mexican food two nights, high-at and large portions
  • I consumed too much chocolate from "Candy's" desk at work
  • I did not exercise

The Good:
  • I did plan my entire snacks/meals for two days
  • I tracked every bite for two days in [username=losingtherolls]
  • I did not eat out this weekend
  • I found a diet coach/mentor

Did you catch that last bullet about a diet coach/mentor?  I am reading a book that deals with changing the  ways I think about eating and the choices I make.  It's a six week program dealing with cognitive therapy and has daily tasks.  One of my tasks was to find a diet mentor to support me along this journey.  I knew right away that it could not be my husband or sister.  Yes, they support me, but they are too similar to me.  I'm not sure they could give me the tough love I might need or talk me down from a cupcake (mostly because they would likely be about to consume one too).  Instead, I opted to reach out to my dad.  He lives about 340 miles away and over the years we've grown apart a little.  I only mean to say that we are not as close as we were when I was under his roof, and I miss that.  I chose him because 1) he and his wife have lost weight and maintained it for over a year, 2) he can provide tough-love  and incentive just because I won't want to disappoint him and 3) it will bring us closer together.  He is already proving to be very supportive.  I think having him for support is going to help in many ways.

In my last post, I mentioned being optimistic.  Well, I am even more so about this week.  Each night this week, I will plan the next days meals.  I will track every bite via MFP.  Also, I will start some exercise, no matter how little it may be.  Notice that I said I will do these things and not I will try.  This will be a good week.

Thanks for stopping by,

Monday, May 18, 2015

Moving on without the ducks

It seems that I am one of those types of people that feels they must have all their ducks in a row before they can properly start their weight loss program.  For example, I'm hung up with not having a food plan in place or maybe I haven't found a diet coach/mentor yet.  Now, I am smart enough to know that this way of thinking is only holding me back and allowing me to procrastinate even longer.  Yet, I 've been stuck on the ducks. 

Tomorrow, I am giving myself permission or maybe just telling myself to move forward without all or many of the pieces of a plan in place.  Will tomorrow be perfect?  Maybe, maybe not, but it will be better than any single day I had last week.   Last week and the many weeks and months before it, I ate whatever was convenient or sounded good.  It wasn't entirely carefree eating, I had inner-struggles most of the time, but the lazy-I-don't-want-to-cook-and-I-will-do-better-tomorrow side always won out. That girl always wins.  Screeeeeech, halt, wait a darn second here, let me change that to that girl used to win.  Tomorrow she will lose.  Tomorrow, will be different.

What will be different about tomorrow?  For one thing, before I go to sleep tonight, I will have written a food plan out for tomorrow.  I wasn't able to create a plan for the entire week, so this week, I will take it one day at a time.  I'm not sure yet what my exact calorie budget will be, but I will aim for a range between 1400 and 1800 calories.  Another thing that often holds me back is that I am trying to make the perfect plan as far as restricting my calories, fat, and sugars, increasing my fiber, reducing my sodium, trying to stay away from nitrates, and so on and so forth.  It's dizzying.  Well, no more.  I am giving myself permission to start with the calorie restriction.  I need to be realistic and it is not realistic for me to change my eating 180 degrees overnight.  I'm not perfect and my eating won't be perfect either.  One day at a time, I can learn to throw out more of the bad habits, form better habits and incorporate healthier food options all along the way.

I cannot say that I am 100% confident that tomorrow will go well, but I'm feeling optimistic.

Thanks for stopping by.


Monday, March 16, 2015

When will I be ready to change?

It has been over two months since I last checked in here, and I apologize for being a lousy blogger.  A big hug and thank you to all those that reached out to let me know you care and are concerned.  With my weight hovering around the same spot for so long and then actually seeing the 400's on the scale at the end of February I didn't feel inspired to share anything.  While nothing has changed with the weight,  I do feel a bit motivated and ready to hunker down for a more serious attempt than I have shown in some time.

The Nurse Practitioner that manages my diabetes care suggested that I see a psychologist to maybe find out why I am not making the changes that are necessary to improve my health.  It had been suggested a couple of times before  but I thought it would be a waste of time.  Well, I went for a one hour session last week and spilled the beans about my entire life or as much as I could fit it.  After which she spoke some about making small sustainable steps and suggested a book to read.  She told me that she wasn't sure she could help me, but would like to try.  I walked away thinking that I hadn't learned anything new. Everything she told me about making changes, I already knew.  I know what to do, but just don't do it.  She called me later and told me that she reviewed the notes of our session as well as the notes from my Nurse Practitioner and told me that she thinks differently than she did at the end of the session.  She said that she believes I am still in the 'contemplating' stage of change.  That I am thinking about it but not quite ready to change.  Not sure what I think about that. I may go back for one more session and see if it helps any and whether I think future sessions would be of benefit.  Right now, I am doubtful but willing to try. 

My sister and I went to lunch on Saturday and spent some quality alone time.  We haven't done that but one or two times since my nephew was born almost six years ago.  She comes over twice a week for 'buddy' night so I still see her often but my husband makes it a trio.  We had a great time.  She is a lot like me including the weight problem.  Her son keeps her more active than I am so she is in somewhat better shape than me.  If she doesn't make some changes soon though, Diabetes is in her future.  Hopefully we can both start making changes and seeing some success.

This week I am going to concentrate on eating at home.  Same story/plan as always, but I will try.  My husband has started having some meals delivered for the middle of the week when he doesn't feel like cooking.  I've been down that road several times and it may work for awhile but then I quickly tire of them.  He is on his own this time, which means I am to fend for myself.  The first two weeks haven't went well, but I am optimistic that I will actually cook this week.  Eating at home and drinking more water will be my focus this week.

Thank you for stopping by. 


Monday, January 12, 2015

First weigh-in of 2015

January 12th already?  It seems like it was just yesterday that I was relaxing over the holidays with my eighteen days away from the office.  While I enjoy and look forward to the long break at the end of year, I do not want this year to rush by.  I need to make my time count this year and make progress on the weight-loss front and towards better health.  Here are the stats from my weigh-in this weekend.

Starting weight:  399.8 lbs
Current weight:  393 lbs
+ / - since last:   -7 lbs lost

This loss is a fair representation of the effort put towards it and I am happy.  I haven't spent a lot of time yet deep thinking about my plan or actions needed for the year.  I want to do this and need to this, I just haven't done so yet.  What I have been doing though is trying to make  more conscious decisions about what I eat and don't eat.  This means that I don't always follow through with the first impulse I have, which is a very smart thing since I think about food often.  Trying to slow down the process and not allow the quick fix which is usually not the healthier option is helping me to eat smaller portions and from home rather than take-out.  My eating hasn't been perfect.  I've had some high-carb meals and way more fat and sugar than I need, but all-in-all have consumed less than if I wasn't trying.

One of my goals for 2015 is to be more active/less sedentary than past years.  In an effort towards this goal, I have been pushing myself to get up and do stuff.  I'm talking small things, a quick chore here and there.  Last year, I was the laziest I've ever been.  My body and house show for it.  I may not be able to exercise for 30 minutes yet, but I can do things in short bursts and every little movement is more than I did before.  The more time on my feet means the less time on my butt.   It's a start and I hope it continues.

Other than the small steps I've been trying to make with the food choices and movement, life is back to normal after the break.  Work, more work, and trying to avoid all the sickness at the office.  It seems a lot of people are coughing and sneezing, including my husband.  He's on the tail end of his cold, and knock on wood I believe I dodged it this time.   The sun is shining and the Seahawks are still in the race, so life here is looking good.  Hope you're doing well too. 

Tammy (for Biz)

Friday, January 2, 2015

Better Health in 2015

Happy New Year and best wishes for a successful 2015.  This year will be a success for me if I am able to lose a significant amount of weight and manage my diabetes better.  With over 250 pounds to lose, even losing fifty pounds would let me know that progress in the right direction has occurred. My main goal for 2015 is to end the year healthier than I am now.

2014 was another bust as far as weight loss goes. In fact, I gained a few pounds.  When I weighed in this past Sunday, the scale read 399.8 pounds.  Yikes!  Double Yikes!  This is the most I have ever weighed and I want to keep it that way.  I can feel the recent weight gain too.  I feel it in my knees and lower back.  Not a great feeling, so I need to make a change. 

2014 has to be my most inactive year ever.  Since January 2008, I have been wearing a pedometer daily.  Each year thereafter my steps have decreased with this year's tally being the lowest ever.  Looking at the numbers remind me of what I already know.  I have been sitting on my butt the majority of my time and not out and about living life to the fullest.  My husband made a comment  recently telling me that I don't go anywhere. He's right. Besides going to work, stopping by a restaurant on the way home or to appointments, I hardly go anywhere.  I stopped going to the movies, grocery or other shopping and turn down invitations if they will put me in public places or require too much exertion on my part.  I've always wondered how people became so large that they were home-bound or bedridden.  Maybe this is how it starts.  Slowly but surely deciding to stay home rather than getting out of the lazy boy and going places.  Since I don't want that kind of life and I am not fully enjoying the way I live now,  I need to take action and start moving and going out more, no matter how uncomfortable it is at first.  

Knowing what I need to do and doing it are two completely different things.  Here's to taking action in 2015!  Best wishes to all.