Monday, July 18, 2016

Same old story

Not much has changed since my last post in January.  I still have a lot of knee pain, haven’t lost weight and don’t have a plan in place.

It has been over six months since I last slept in my bed.  Instead, I do my best to sleep in the LA-Z-Boy recliner.  Right after last Christmas, my arthritis (under the knee cap) started acting up plus I did something and ended up with Tendonitis.  It hurts like heck to extend my leg or lift my knee.  The best thing I could do for my knee right now is lose weight.  I likely will need  a knee replacement in the future, but the doctor told me it wouldn’t happen unless I lost a significant amount of weight.  Since I am not seeing any improvement and have become even more sedentary, I will probably head back to the doctor to see if there is anything we can do in the mean time.  I might be out of my mind on this one, but I swear since sleeping in the recliner and not the bed the last six months, my hips have spread.  I don’t like it. This is just another addition to the list of many reasons I should lose weight.

Yesterday I weighed in at 388 pounds.  While I am down from my high at the beginning of the year, it is not significant or due to any real effort.  I don’t mean to say that I am not trying to lose weight.  I think it about it all day every day but fail to make the right choices consistently.  I constantly choose what will make me happy in the moment and disregard the effects on the long run.  That statement basically describes the problem in a nutshell.  Because of this, my weight fluctuates a lot but seems to hover in the high 380’s.  

My husband and I still eat out or carry in a lot.  Even when we do cook (or I should say he cooks), our portions are too big and include too many starches.  Then there is the sugar.  My gosh, I eat sweets like I don’t have diabetes.  Okay, that is all I am going to say about my bad eating habits right now.  I know what I am doing, why I am doing it and I don’t really need to keep bashing myself up about it here.

What I do need to do is make changes.  I haven’t got a formal plan yet and maybe won’t for some time.  Improvements can still happen without a formal plan.  This week my focus is mainly going to be around portion sizes and reducing the volume of food I eat this week.  I will also try to eat at least one fruit this week as well as more vegetables.  I like fruits and vegetables but I like starches, sweets and fried foods more.  Healthy eating habits will not happen overnight and I can’t force myself to give up all the bad habits at once.  I’ve tried that many times and it just doesn’t work for me. What I can do is make a start.  It may be a slow roll but I will eat better this week than I did last week, even if it is only one day.  I will also move more.  I have to.  I hurt everywhere and am becoming so stiff that I fear I could turn into the tin man and become stuck in one position.  Whether it is getting up at home or work more often and just walking around my environment or doing small tasks or chores, I will do it.  

Other than all that, I am fine.  I have a wonderful husband, fantastic sister and the most adorable recently turned seven year old nephew.  Home is good, work is good and now I need to focus on my health.

Thanks for stopping by,


Sunday, January 10, 2016

Here I am...again

Another new year and I find myself in the same condition, fat, sore and tired.  

I am fat, obese, morbidly obese and just under 400 pounds on a five foot three inch frame.  

I am sore from inflammation and osteoarthritis in my knees.  Mainly my left knee has been in excruciating pain for the last couple of weeks.  

I am tired of 
    • being fat
    • being in pain
    • not sleeping because of the pain
    • being in the same condition year after year 
Yet, I am stuck.  

While I may be depressing, I am not depressed.

My ability to lose weight sometimes feels hopeless but I am still hopeful. Why I don’t know, but I am.

Hoping and wishing will get me no where.  Change is needed.  Action is needed.

A plan is needed.  Darn, I don’t have one of those…yet.  In the absence of a plan, I will focus on making changes from what I normally do.  The obvious…I will eat less.  I want to make healthier food choices too.  This is where and what I will start with.  For now, that is enough.  I will work on that.

Happy New Year.  I hope 2016 brings great things for you all.