After my pleasant weigh-in Sunday morning, I must have swallowed a stupid pill. I repeated a stupid mistake that I thought I had learned my lesson to many times over. After a weigh-in, I ate. I ate a lot. To make things worse, it was all foods that I am trying to reduce or stay away from. The list includes hash-browns and toast to go with the spinach/bacon/Swiss cheese omelet, doughnuts (as in plural), battered and fried fish, fries and clam chowder. Oh and let me not forget to mention the Nestle Toll House pan cookie. This way of eating is how I became to be 391 pounds in the first place. I don’t have a good reason why I did it. There isn’t one. I’m sure the stupid reasoning that told me that I had all week to make up for it, came in to play. I know this was wrong, but I still did it. That’s not all. Even after weighing myself this morning and seeing a sizeable gain since Sunday, I still went out for dinner tonight.
Today is Tuesday and I haven’t mentioned my eating on Monday. Monday was mostly a good day. When you’re trying to lose weight, “mostly” doesn’t cut it. Breakfast and lunch were on plan. Dinner was okay, except for a large bowl of baked beans.
Back to today. Feeling sick with myself after seeing the gain, breakfast was two eggs scrambled and a cup of watermelon. Lunch, from the cafeteria at work, was a hamburger patty (no bun) with some melon and pineapple. I wasn’t even hungry today. The commute did us in. Too much time to think about dinner and we decided, despite knowing it was the wrong thing to do, to stop for Mexican food. Will I ever change my ways? Or am I destined to lose some, gain some, and repeat?
I won’t dwell on this or continue to beat myself up, but I do need to learn from it. This behavior has been around for decades. After Weight Watcher meetings, the ride home would always include food from the drive-thru. I need to stop doing this or I will never get anywhere. So, I need to plan early, what foods I will be eating this coming Sunday and then ask my husband to help me stick to the plan. I can do this. Before that happens though, I need to make it through this week without any more slip-ups. I HAVE TO!!
If you are shaking your head after reading this, I’m sorry to disappoint you. It probably won’t be the last time, but please know, I am taking this seriously and truly want to change. I will finish this week strong. My days are pretty much the same and not much exciting happens, but I will try to post daily the rest of this week and at least report out my food consumption. I want to be accountable to myself and this blog. I am determined that I won’t eat out the rest of this week. I didn’t want to share my wrong-doings, but if I just hide away I might be tempted to eat more before returning. None of that garbage, I’ve admitted it and moving on.
I hope you’re doing better than I have been. Talk with you tomorrow.